Yuletide Blues
by Pricat
Summary: This was inspired by news of Shrek the Halls. Shrek is trying to have the perfect first Christmas for him and his family but Charming bent on revenge is out to ruin it. Will it all turn out right?
1. Something New

Yuletide Blues

It was Winter in the swamp. Shrek and Fiona were taking care of their three young triplets. Fiona watched as snow flakes fell upon the ground. "Honey do you think we should celebrate Christmas? Especially since we have a family." She said to him. "I would but I've never…" he began. "Never what?" Fiona asked him curiously. "I've never had Christmas. My Dad wasn't the celebratory type but I'd like to especially since we have kids and I'd like them to experience a magical tradition." He told her.

The babies gurgled happily at this and Fiona smiled at the thought of spending Christmas with her new family. But Shrek was nervous about this. Being new to this Christmas thing, he needed help. He remembered Fiona had spent probably many Christmases with her parents as a human so he decided to ask her. "Honey?" he asked her. "Yes. What is it?" she said to him. "I... I don't know this Christmas thing is about. I was wondering if you knew anything about it that might get me started." he told her bravely. "Of course I do. Christmas is a wonderful time full of presents, food and family." she began. "Slow down honey, you had me at food and presents. I can't believe my father jacked me of this holiday when it sounds so wonderful." he said to her. She giggled a little at that. He watched as she put the babies down for a nap in their room and closed the door gently. "I'm sorry honey if I was going too fast. Christmas is a time where families come together to share. On Christmas Eve children put out cookies and milk for St Nick or Santa Claus and he brings good kids presents and other things. On Christmas morning the whole family gets up ands opens presents toigether under the Christmas tree.. Then later they have Christmas dinner." she explained to him slowly. "Mmm... it sounds so good. But what do they eat at Christmas and what does this Santa guy look like? I'm just curious, that's all." he said to her. She smiled at that. "They eat turkey and salad with prawns for starters. For dessert , they have Christmas pudding and Sherry trifle. Santa is very very rotund. He dresses in red clothes with a black belt and boots. He has a white beard and a red hat with a bell on it. He flies around the world in a sleigh pulled by eight reindeer." she told him.

Excitement was overfilling his heart at this. "Wow it sounds really good but I don't know where to begin." he told her. "Well houses are normally decorated for Christmas so I guess the first thing is to decorate the house. and get a tree." she told him. He then went out the door and into the forest. But there was worry inside of him because he wanted to make Christmas special for the kids and he couldn't bear it wrecked. Meanwhile Charming was watching his enemy preparing for the festive season and was angry. But then he hatched a plan. He knew his enemy wanted the perfect Christmas so he was going to ruin it.

Donkey then burst into the swamp house through the front door. Fiona was making stockings for the kids by knitting. "Hey Fi you pumped for Christmas like I am? Where's Shrek?" he said to her. She laughed at that. "He's out getting a Christmas tree as we speak but it's actually the first time he's ever celebrated Christmas so I want to make it special for him as well as the kids. But I don't know how." she told him. He understood. He was wearing a Santa hat and white beard. "I'm sure you'll think of something." he told her. "I hope so. He was really excited when I started telling him about it and I... don't want to let him down." she told him. He watched as she hung up a huge stocking beside the kid's ones. It was for her husband. Donkey chuckled at that. But in Far , Far Away Artie was feeling miserable. He knew it was Christmas but he wasn't feeling the spirit. Lillian understood that he felt like he had nobody to spend Christmas with but then she remmbered that he and her were part of her daughter's family and that made her smile. "Maybe a girl friend would put a smile on his face but I'm not sure..." she thought as she watched him leave the throne room sadly looking at the huge Christmas tree...


	2. Emergency

Yuletide Blues 

Ch 2

Artie was still feeling miserable that night in his room. Normally the holiday season made him happy but that was before Worchester. Lillian knew that he needed a spirit lift maybe in the form of a female. "Do you have any special friends back at… school?" she'd asked him. "I only have one friend like that but she doesn't know I'm alive." He told her. "Who is it?" Lillian said to him calmly. "Her name… is Guinvere or Gwen for short. Ever since I was dumped at that academy, she's the only one I've ever wanted." Artie explained to her sadly. She understood how he felt. "_Maybe I should have Gwen brought here. Itmight be the cure for his low spirits. I don't know. I'll sleep on it."_ She thought as she watched the servants prepare the castle for Christmas.

She hoped her daughter and her family were getting ready too. Meanwhile in the swamp, Fiona and her husband were decorating the Christmas tree. She was amazed by the size of it. "Where did you get it?" she asked him curiously. "I found it in the forest. We are trying to have Christmas right?" Shrek told her. She laughed as she kissed him. She'd put the kids down for a nap. She and her husband were wrapping presents. Lillian had sent some knights to Worchester Academy to get Gwen. Meanwhile Charming was in the North Pole. He had an evil plan. He knew Christmas was about Santa and presents and if St Nick wasn't around, it wouldn't happen.

Artie then decided to go to the swamp. "_Maybe if I went to see Shrek and Fiona, that would make me feel a bit better. It's always a fiesta around there."_ He thought as he knocked on the door. Fiona was amazed to see him. "What're you doing here?" Fiona asked him. "I… thought about visiting." He told her. Shrek was dressing the babes in Christmas pyjamas. "Hey Artie! You… seem down. What's up?" he said to him. "It's nothing." He said sadly. "Please Artie. It won't sound dumb, trust me." He told him. Artie sighed at that. "Okay I'll tell you. It's Christmas, the time of family, right? But to me it's like I have no family. Seeing that my father left makes me sad about this time of year when normally I'm pumped." He explained to him. Shrek understood as Artie looked at the Christmas tree. Fiona felt sorry for him. "Artie you do have a family. You just haven't realised it yet." She told him smiling. "What do you mean by that Fi? I don't understand." He said quietly as he watched the fire. "She's right man you do with us and Lillian, the triplets, Donkey, Puss but mainly us. Also you're like a big brother to Felicia and her brothers." Shrek told him as he put his son Lord Spam in his arms. He was dressed in blue pyjamas with snowflakes over them. He gurgled as he looked at Artie. "You're cute for a baby. Most are pretty ugly for human babies." He said to it as Spam touched his hand with a tiny finger.

Suddenly they heard something crash outside. Felicia and Meatballs cried as Shrek went outside to check it out. He couldn't believe what he saw. It was a sleigh with eight tiny reindeer in front of it. He also saw Santa cowering inside it. "Are you okay Santa?" he asked him calmly as not to frighten the man more. St Nick shook his head as he dived for cover but fell out of the sleigh. "Fiona come quick! You're not gonna believe this!" he said excitedly. She then came out holding Felicia in her arms but gasped when she saw Santa's sleigh. She was more amazed to see Santa out cold on the ground. "Did you.." she began. "No I didn't scare him but something else did. I asked him if he was okay but then he freaked and went like that. Bring him into the house." Shrek told her.

She then helped him bring St Nick into the swamp house and put him in the alligator chair. Artie was curious about this. He had a feeling something bad was going on. "Shouldn't he be getting ready for tonight? It's just... weird." he told Fiona. She nodded as he came around. He knew that Shrek was a good guy so he wasn't freaked by him or Fiona. "Are you okay? You sort of scared us when you were lying on the ground. Is something wrong?" Fiona told him. "I'm fine Fiona. Yes something is wrong. A brat called Charming came into the North Pole and tried to wreck Christmas but it didn't work. He has the naughty and nice lists and I'm worried that he'll mess up Christmas." Santa told them. "Why... did you come here?" Artie asked him. "I was being chased by Charming on a flying skateboard. Will you help me save my holiday from him?" he said to them. "Yes! That royal brat isn't wrecking our first Christmas and get away with it!" Shrek yelled.

Fiona and Artie agreed but they were worried about the triplets. They couldn't take them with them in case Charming tried to hurt them or worse. Fiona looked at Artie. "Can you do something for me?" she asked him. "Okay." he said to her. "I need you to look after the triplets while we're kicking Charming's butt. I know you want to come but they mean the world to us and so much more." Fiona told him. Artie sighed. "Fine, I'll do it!" he said flatly as he watched the sleigh take off...


	3. A Pleasant Surprise

Yuletide Blues 

Ch 3

Artie sighed as the triplets fell asleep. He then heard a knock on the door. He answered it and was surprised to see somebody standing there he'd been wanting to see since he'd left Worchester. It was Gwen. "W…What're you doing here? I thought you were at Worchester Academy." He said to her.

She smiled at him happily. "How come you're here? I thought you were a King? I don't understand." She asked him. "I am but my friends went with St Nick so I had to look after their triplets for them." Artie replied calmly. She then kissed him. Feelings he'd never felt were emerging and coursing at the speed of light. "_Wow! So this is what True Love feels like. Now I feel how Shrek feels when he's with Fiona. I… love her."_ He thought as he looked into her eyes. "I love ya." He told her as he touched her cheek. "I love you too Artie… so much. At Worchester I never told you how I feel because everybody was watching me, the popular one. They wanted me to go with Lancelot but he could never give me what you can." Gwen revealed as they shared a longer, passionate kiss.

Charming laughed evilly as he saw his enemies approach. "This'll be so much fun. They're about to get what's coming to them!" he said as he used Christmas magic to create an evil army of pessimistic elves. He then sent them to attack Shrek and Fiona. Artie woke up in Gwen's arms. He wondered who had told her to come here. "_It doesn't matter. I think Lillian sent her. I feel good. Maybe she won't have to go back to Worchester after the holidays." _He mused mentally as she woke up too. "Good morning. You look so… sweet when you wake up." Gwen said to him. "You really think so?" he asked her. "Uh-huh. Only I'm worried about after the holidays. I don't want to go back to Worchester with all those male jerks." Gwen answered. They then heard the triplets wake up. "I'll get it." Artie said as he broke the embrace. Meatballs had crawled into the room. He was gurgling happily at Gwen. "Aww! You're cute." She said as she picked him up in her arms. He laughed as she tickled him. Meanwhile Shrek and Fiona snuck in.

Santa walked into his workshop without fear. It was quiet, very quiet. Where was everybody? Suddenly he was ambushed by faeries. "What's the meaning of this you royal brat?" he asked as Charming appeared. "Let's just say Christmas is gonna be shook up this year. Shrek will wish he'd never helped you." he gloated as the faeries took him away. He then saw an image of the swamp in an enchanted snow globe but when he saw Artie with Gwen, it made him smile evilly. "That brat robbed me of the chance to rule Far, Far Away. This is another way to mess with that ogre's head." he thought as he vanished in a haze of magic. Artie smiled as he and Gwen shared another kiss. Charming then made himself known. "Hello Artie." he said. "What do you want you freak?" Artie yelled. "Who is that loser?" Gwen asked him. "His name is Charming, Prince Charming. He's deluded. He got mad just because I'm ruling the kingdom and he's not. He also tried to slay Shrek but he failed." Artie told her calmly. His blood turned cold as Charming grabbed Gwen by the neck. "Let her go! This is to do with me!" Artie yelled.

"Good" Charming said as he let her go and disappeared with Artie. Gwen was freaked by this as the triplets woke up from their nap. Shrek then saw what Charming had done and was angry. "What's wrong?" Fiona asked him. "Artie. Charming kidnapped him and brought him here as a hostage." he told her. This made her angry. "He's so going to pay! Nobody messes with my cousin and gets away with it." she said as they entered the throne room... Charming laughed as he tied up Artie with tinsel and stuck a candy cane in his mouth. "You won't get away with this! Once Shrek knows what you're up to, you're toast!" Artie said as he spat it out and it hit the floor. "We'll see my rebellious friend." Charming cackled as he looked at the wand he was holding in his hand. It had lots of Christmas magic in it, enough to destroy the holiday himself. .


	4. Gwen of Little Faith

Yuletide Blues 

Ch 4

Artie was worried. Charming had an evil glint in his eye as he saw the wand glow. "What're you going to do with that thing?" he asked angrily. Charming laughed as he clutched the enchanted snow globe. "Let's just say your friends are going to pay. Last time you slipped through my fingers but not this time!" he yelled as the guards brought in somebody familiar. It was Gwen. "Don't…" he said worriedly.

"Don't what? Hurt her? She's fine unless you and your friends try to stop me. If that happens, she's dead. How would that feel to hear her scream?" Charming said as they tied her up beside him. She hugged him. "Where're the triplets? Fiona's going to kill me!" he said to her. "Don't worry they're safe. They hid once Charming's losers burst into the swamp and took me." She told him. Only something was buzzing in his mind. "As long as we're hanging around can I ask you something?" Artie told her. "Sure but what?" Gwen said to him. "How… come you realised after all those years of teasing me with the popular kids at Worchester, that you love me?" he asked nervously. Gwen sighed sadly at this. "I'm sorry for that. It's just when I first came to Worchester, I was the loser that everybody made fun of until I joined the cheerleading squad then suddenly people talked to me, wanted to date me for once but none of those guys I liked until I saw you but the popular kids warned me against you but my heart kept telling me you were the one I'd loved all along." She explained with tears in her eyes.

Charming laughed at that as the staff glowed. "What're you going to do with that?" Artie heard somebody yell as he entered the room. It was Shrek. "You're too late! Soon Christmas will be no more!" he said coldly as he aimed it at the enchanted snow globe but Shrek jumped in front of it and it hit him in the chest. Gwen watched in horror as he fell to the ground again. "You brute!" Artie yelled as he gathered up all his strength and broke through the ropes. Fiona then came in holding the triplets but they started crying when she saw her husband. "Is he…" she said with tears in her eyes. "It's not. He just saved the one holiday where Peace on Earth and Goodwill to all men and creatures exists." St Nick said as he put a gloved hand to Shrek's chest. Artie gasped in awe as their friend opened his eyes. "Did Charming destroy Christmas?" he said weakly as the triplets crowded around him. They watched as they vanished in a haze of magical energy… They then found themselves in the swamp. Artie felt sorry as he saw Shrek in bed. "It's okay. It wasn't your fault. I'm sure he'll recover. Let's just enjoy Christmas anyway, okay?" Gwen told him.

She then kissed him. Fiona realised it was Christmas Eve. She then went to bath the triplets. Shrek smiled as Fiona dressed them in Chrismasy pyjamas. "Aww! You look cute in your pj's. I hope you enjoy the holiday season. I hope St Nick brings ya lots of things." he said as they hugged him as they sat on the blanket. Artie smiled at that but felt sad again but hid it because he didn't want to dampen the mood. Gwen and him then went into a carriage that was waiting for them and drove off. "I hope you guys make it back safe to Far, Far Away." Fiona thought as she laid plates of milk and cookies by the fireplace. She knew that tomorrow would be a great day.

Later that night Artie was in bed but couldn't sleep until somebody crept into his room. "Can't sleep?" Gwen said as she climbed in beside him. "Yeah I can't. I was thinking about my friends having Christmas together and it made me think about my evil father who dumped me at Worchester. I wonder if I... really do have a family. Lillian told me that her and I are part of Shrek's family but I'm not so sure." he told her quietly. She hugged him. She was wearing a blue night gown. He was wearing a dressing gown and boxers. "I know what it's like to feel sad during the Christmas season especially at Worchester because I missed my folks." she said as she kissed him. He nodded as she handed him a present. He unwrapped it. It was a locket. "Thanks sweetheart. I love you. Merry Christmas." Artie told her. He opened it. There was a picture of him and Gwen in it. Tears welled in his eyes.

They then snuggled in bed. Lillian then smiled at that. "I'm glad you're here Gwen. You're making Artie feel better. But after the holidays, will you return to Worchester or stay here and be his Queen?" she thought as she fell asleep...


	5. The Wedding and a surprise

Yuletide Blues 

Ch 5

Artie was very nervous. He and Gwen were getting ready for Christmas dinner and he'd changed into royal clothes and shaved a little. He then brought out something. It was a tiny box with something important in it. It was a diamond ring. He was going to pop the question. _"That way she'll finally be mine and jerks like Lancelot can't take her away from me if she goes back to Worchester."_ A voice said in his head as he saw Lillian come in.

"Are you okay? You seem worried about something." She said to him. "I'm fine. Let's just say I'm going to ask Gwen something that might change everything." He told her. She was confused but knew what he meant. They went down to the dining room together but Gwen was there too waiting for him. She was in a sparkling ball gown with black shoes. There was make up and lipstick on her face. "_Wow! She looks beautiful! Better play it cool so she doesn't know what I'm up to." _He thought as they sat down at the table. Gwen saw Artie blush as he looked at her. "Are you okay?" she asked him. "Y-Yeah I'm fine." He told her but got more nervous as the wine arrived. He'd put the ring in the bottom of Gwen's wine goblet. He hoped she would accept his proposal. "What's this?" Gwen asked as she bit her teeth on something in her goblet and lifted it out. "A ring? Artie… what's going on?" she said in shock as she saw him kneel before her. "We've known each other for a long, long time and now that we've admitted our love for each other, I thought it was time to take it to the next level so Gwen… will you marry me?" he said as she looked at Lillian and back at Artie. "Artie… I… will. But what if we're not meant to be? What if we're making a mistake by this?" she asked nervously. Artie then put a hand on her shoulder reassuringly.

"Don't worry Gwen. We are just like my cousin Fiona and her husband." He told her as they kissed. Lillian was excited about this. She then decided to visit her daughter and her family to tell them the good news. She then walked into their swamp house. Fiona's two sons Meatballs and Spam were playing with swords Puss had given them for Christmas. "Watch it guys. I don't want anybody hurt." Fiona said as Lillian entered. Shrek was cooking Christmas dinner. "Hey Mom. What're you doing here? Merry Christmas!" Fiona said as she hugged her. "It's Artie." She said to her. "What's wrong? Is he hurt?" Shrek asked worriedly as he came in. He was wearing an apron with some blood on it because he was gutting a turkey with a sword. "He's fine. He's… getting married." She told him.

Shrek and Fiona gasped at that. "To who?" Fiona asked. "To Gwen. He popped the question earlier in the castle." She explained smiling as Spam crawled over to her. But later that night Artie and Gwen were sitting in bed. Gwen kissed him. "Mmm… that's good." Artie told her as he snuggled near her. "I can't believe we're getting married tomorrow." She said as she fell asleep in his arms. His heart was beating faster than ever. He wondered what married life would be like especially as they would become King and Queen of the kingdom.

Fiona smiled as they sat down for Christmas dinner. The turkey was in the middle of the table with plates and cultery set out with goblets. Spam and Meatballs were sitting in high chairs eating meatballs and Spam along with little bits of turkey and weed rat stew. They were drinking juice. Lillian felt good being with her family. "When is the wedding?" Fiona asked her curiously. "Tomorrow at the castle. They wanted it to be soon so they could get into the swing of married life." she said to them. Shrek laughed at that with turkey stuck in his teeth. He wondered if they'd have a family like him and Fiona. "Actually we're planning a family trip in the forest after tomorrow. Just us, Artie and Gwen." Lillian said to them. "Ooh that sounds good. Count us in." Shrek said to her.

Lillian and Fiona went into Duloc with Shrek. They were getting wedding presents for Artie and Gwen. They then saw Shrek coming out of a cookery store with a large parcel. "Um honey. What is that?" Fiona asked him. "I got Artie a BBQ grill. You know so in the hot summer days, he and Gwen can fire it up and eat burgers and stuff." he told her. Fiona smiled at him. She had gotten Gwen some candles and sunflowers. Lillian had gotten her some nuchucks for protection.

The next day they got in the onion carriage and went to Far, Far Away for the wedding. Puss and Donkey were looking after the kids. They then arrived at the castle later. Artie was waiting for them. He was wearing a tuxedo. "Hey guys. Thanks for coming." he said to Shrek as he hugged him. He felt like an older ogre brother to Artie. "I can't believe it. You're getting married to Gwen. It was just yesterday you were a kid from Worchester Academy but you've come a long way." he told him as he gave him the present. "Wow! What is it?" he said as he opened it. He gasped at it as he opened it. "Cool. Thanks man." he told him. Hours later after the wedding, they were in the dining room having the reception. Artie smiled at Gwen as she cut the cake with a knife. "I'm just so glad to be blessed with an awesome wife who's just as special as me, a loving family even though we're a little different from other royal families, I wouldn't trade them for the world." he said as he made his toast. Gwen smiled as they ate the cake but she'd been feeling pain in her stomach as well as cravings for sugary foods. She needed to go see the doctor before they went on the family trip/honeymoon. "Where're ya going?" Artie asked her worriedly.

"I have to go to the doctor's. I don't feel so good." she simply said as she kissed him. "Okay but I hope it's something not serious." Artie told her as she went on her own. Fiona saw worry in Artie's eyes. "I'll talk to him." Shrek said as he saw Artie sit at the table alone. "Don't worry dude. Maybe it's nothing serious. Or maybe something special is happening." he reassured him. He smiled at that thought. "Yeah I guess." he told him. Shrek then drank an ice cold beer as they sat there just talking about life and funny things that had happened. Later that night Gwen came back. She had something to tell Artie but decided not to tell him yet. Fiona could sort of tell what was going on but wasn't sure. She watched as Gwen packed a bag with food supplies but mainly cake and candy as well as wine. Artie was packing survival stuff with him. Shrek laughed as he packed fishing gear. The next day at dawn they set out for a rustic spot in the forest. They found a cosy spot near some mud baths. "Okay. Let's pitch the tents." Shrek said to them as they got out of the carriage. Fiona watched as he pitched the tent for her, Lillian and him but Artie was trying to pitch the tent for him and Gwen but was failing. "Let me help." Shrek said as they nailed the pegs down together. Fiona and Lillian came back with firewood. "It's for later." he explained. He then put on swimming trunks and went into the mud bath. He sighed happily as he soaked in it. Fiona joined him as well as Gwen. Fiona noticed something was wrong with Gwen like her stomach was huge.

Shrek then went to get some beer. Gwen noticed Fiona staring at her stomach. "I'm sorry. I was just curious." she said. "I'll tell you. I've been tired and cranky, always hungry and sick in the mornings. I went to the doctor's eariler and he told me that... I'm gonna be a Mom. But don't tell Artie yet. I'm not sure how he'll handle it." she explained. Fiona smiled at her. "That's good news! I won't tell Artie. Besides I know that feeling when I found out I was blessed with babies, I didn't want to tell Shrek because he'd freak but when I did, he warmed up to the idea." she said as she hugged her. She then touched Gwen's stomach and felt the baby kick. She laughed as that...


	6. Fatherhood Worries

Yuletide Blues 

Ch 6

Fiona smiled that night as she and Shrek laid outside the tent near the campfire. They were looking at the stars in the night sky. She was thinking about what Gwen had told her earlier. "What're you thinking about?" Shrek asked her curiously. "I'll tell you but you have to promise." She said.

"Promise what?" he asked her. "You have to promise not to tell Artie. Gwen wants to tell him when the time's right. He's… going to be a father." She revealed quietly. He was speechless at these words. "Wow. I can't wait to see how he reacts when Gwen does tell him." He told her as they kissed. Lillian had overheard this and was excited for Artie and Gwen. She hoped that they would be good parents but also provide the kingdom with heirs if anything happened to them. Gwen walked out of the tent quietly as Artie was asleep. She looked at Shrek and Fiona. She remembered what Fiona had told her earlier and needed to decide.

She then looked up at a shooting star as it crossed the sky. "I wish that I could tell Artie that I'm pregnant." She whispered sadly. Fiona had heard that and felt sorry for Gwen as she watched her go back into the tent and join Artie. The next morning Artie woke up and walked out of the tent. Shrek, Fiona and Lillian had gone off to find breakfast so Gwen was looking after the fire. _"She seems sad for some reason. Was it something I did or said? I hope not because I love her with all my heart. Maybe I should ask her."_ He thought as he came over and sat beside her. She didn't notice him sit beside her because she was imagining what it would be like to have a family. "Hey is something the matter? Because if there is, we can talk about it." He said softly to her.

She sighed as she turned around to face him. _"It's now or never."_ Her heart said as she opened her mouth. "Artie…. I'm pregnant. You're going to be a father. I hope you're not upset." She blurted out to him. There was a look of shock and he didn't speak for a few minutes. "I can't believe it! I'm so proud for you. Now we can have a family and be good parents to our kids." He said smiling. "Really?" she asked him. "Really, really." Artie replied. She then watched as he put his hand on her stomach and felt their child kick against it. "Wow! Maybe some day it'll be like you." He told Gwen proudly. Fiona then came back with firewood. "I'm going to be a father. Isn't that great?" Artie told her. Fiona smiled warmly as she looked at Gwen. "You told him, didn't you?" she asked her. "Yep. I'm glad I did. He doesn't seem nervous. He seems happy." She said.

Shrek then saw Artie and saw the look in his eyes. "Let me guess. Gwen told ya about the news?" he told him. Artie nodded. "I know what it's like to be nervous about this fatherhood gig especially since you're gonna be King and that might get in the way of being there for them when they need you the most. I'm not trying to scare you. It's just ruling a kingdom and parenting won't come easy doing both but you can decide. Also what if they're not what you expected and they're total beasts? That would be a field day for the press of the kingdom." He told him as he cooked breakfast. Artie was now petrified about fatherhood seeing as he couldn't get his friend's words out of his head. "_What if he's right? I don't wanna be a bad parent to them when they're born and neither does Gwen. I know that we'll have major pressure looming over us twenty four seven but it'll be worth it to have a loving family. I won't be like my brute of a father and treat them like they don't matter. I'll never abandon them at some academy and never talk to them again, that's for sure."_ He thought as he sat by the river lost in thoughts. Gwen noticed he was worried but she'd been feeling the same too but talking to Fiona and Lillian was easing her worries. Fiona wondered what her husband had told Artie. "I just gave him some advice, that's all. I didn't mean to freak him out." he told her.

She shot him a look as she sat down beside Artie. He seemed scared. "I'm sorry if my husband made you freak out about becoming a father. Actually he's one to talk." she told him. "What do you mean by that?" Artie asked her curiously. "When he found out I was pregnant, he wasn't too happy. Before it happened, he told me he didn't want nothing to do with kids and that at the minute I was his family. But things sort of were crazy with my Dad gone away and finding you, he was suffering the worst paternal angst ever. He also dreamed about it. It scared him so bad that he wasn't himself." she explained to him. Artie smiled at that. "So that's why he was so crabby after we crashed the boat! He was just super worried about having kids like I am. It's just... Gwen and me are going to be rulers of the kingdom and I'm scared that we're gonna not take good care of them and that I'm..." he said. "You're what?" she asked confused. "I'm gona end up like my Dad and abandon them and they're gonna grow up to be teen losers like me and it'd be all my fault!" he vented angrily. This worried both Fiona and Gwen.

"It won't be like that, I'm sure. We may be running the kingdom but we'll always have time for our family. I know your father did horrible things to you but I know you'll never be like that to them. You're wonderful, kind and good hearted, brave and loyal. What more from a father could his kids ask for?" Gwen said to him. He then smiled at her. "Thanks. I know that you at least are someone I can count on." Artie told her as he kissed her. Lillian saw her son in law sigh with remorse as Fiona walked away from him. "What did I do that made you this mad?" Shrek asked her worriedly. "You freaked out Artie and almost stopped him from wanting to be a father. I know you were just trying to help. I'm sorry. It's just I want to help them and seeing them makes me think of our own kids, okay?" she said to him quietly. Shrek understood as he hugged his upset wife who was crying. "Ssh... It's okay to miss them. We'll be back ina few days. Besides I'm sure they're okay even if they're with Puss and Donkey." he reassured her as he stroked her red braided hair. She fell asleep near the fire.

He then got out his cell phone and called home. Puss answered it. "Hola boss! What's up?" he said to him. "Fiona's really upset and homesick. I think she's missing the kids. How're they? They haven't been causing too much trouble for ya?" Shrek asked him. "No not very much. I think they're missing Mommy and Daddy too." he reported. "What do you mean?" Shrek said worried. "Ever since you guys went off, they haven't been drinking or eating and playing less. They've been crying non stop every night. Donkey almost snapped one night because of it. Please tell me you and Fiona are coming home." he explained. "Don't worry. Fiona and I will be back in a few days." he told him. He hung up after that. He then saw Fiona wake up. "You hungry?" he asked quietly. "No." she said gently. "It's okay. I phoned home." he told her. "Really?" she said. He nodded. "The kids are missing us. They haven't eaten or done anything since we left and they've been crying every night." he explained. A sad smile crossed her face.

Lillian then came over to them. "I think Fiona has paternal depression." she told her son in law. "How do you know that? Is it normal?" he asked nervously. "Yes it is. Every woman gets it human or otherwise. I had it after Fiona was born." Lillian explained to him. He nodded as Fiona fell asleep in his strong arms. Artie came over to her. "Is she gonna be okay?" he asked worried. "She'll be fine as soon as we go home. She really misses the kids and they miss us." he told him. Artie smiled at that.


End file.
